How best to serve friends and relatives who have lost a loved a family member?

Funeral Attendance?

Several times I have heard people justify not going to a funeral by quoting Jesus Christ in the New Testament, “…let the dead bury the dead.” Does this conflict with another scripture from the Book of Mormon that asks us about our devotion to the cause of Christ, if we are “willing to mourn with those that mourn and comfort to those who stand in need of comfort.” How does one reconcile this? I struggled with this when people would quote Christ.

First Funeral Attendance

There was a great article posted in NPR about a man’s philosophy on attending funerals, one always goes to the funeral. Funeral always are an interrupt for our busy lives, they rarely come at convenient times. How do we reconcile this with the words of Christ about burial? What people miss is, Christ was asking his disciple to follow him, the Son of God. Christ would only be there for a limited time and it was better for the disciples to gain as much time with him as possible. In our day, we should follow the words of Alma and comfort those who mourn. I always try and make it to funerals that are in town. If there is extended travel involved, yes for my and my wife’s nuclear family. It a great big maybe for all other depending on the situation.

Second, How do I mourn with those that mourn?

For those that are my wife and my nuclear families, then I try to provide immediate service and comfort. Outside of my nuclear family I have adopted the three week rule. I wait three weeks after the funeral to either send a card with special memories of the person or a gift basket with a nice note (usually quoting a scripture). What I don’t do is try and say short and quick cliche statements. “This must be God’s plan, I’m sorry for your loss, my condolences, and they must be in a better place.” I have never found those to be helpful. My go to is to begin with I’m sorry and my favorite memory of him / her is …

How do you provide comfort and solace for those that have loved ones pass away?

Bear